im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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