i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
