i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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