We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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