He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize