the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
