apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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