Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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