Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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