Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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