Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize