You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
