I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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