He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
