before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
