I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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