found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
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hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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