I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
