he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
