So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
