Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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