All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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