Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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