cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
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We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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