I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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