Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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