I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
