My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
