I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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