So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
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I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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