Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
