is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
