You're so nebulous sometimes
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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