He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
