When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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