I'm really into asian looking animals
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
