he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i've created a new STD.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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