sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
