I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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