so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
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that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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