whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
