I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
