It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dear god my vagina.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.