I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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