In the future we'll all be gay
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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