I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
