it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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