i think i have herpe
just one?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
