Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
