somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked