Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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