dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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