yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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