If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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