Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
