i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
