Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
