who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
worst night to have a conscience
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
