I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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