It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize