I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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