dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
