I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
