garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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