On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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