3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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